Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Two Sentence Tuesday: 6 October 2009

It's been several months since I joined in on Two Sentence Tuesday, though I have been plugging away at work on my WIPs.

Two recently read sentences are from THE GOLDEN CITY by John Twelve Hawks, the third book in his Fourth Realm Trilogy:

"The Crossover Project was top secret, but Susan's team had been told that their work involved national security and the war on terror.

"Maybe that was true, but it was still strange to spend part of your workday staring down at a man lying on a table with wires attached to his brain."

These two draft sentences are from my second ms WIP “The Shadowlands”: “She followed the cloaked woman through the mortar and stone hallways, past an inner garden with a fountain spurting water into the air above, the spray sprinkling the corridor.

As they neared the dias, Maggie slowed to stare at the star-shaped mosaic on the floor; a celestial representation in interlocked stone.”

Please visit Women of Mystery for other participants.


Leigh Russell said...

Oh dear, I think I've been doing too much proof reading lately. I noticed two 'but's in The Golden City extract and it bothered me.
I love your two sentences, full of atmosphere and mystery.

Rick said...

Barbara- Although I am always in awe of your photographic eye, I must admit I like it best when I get to read any excerpt at all from your works.

Barbara Martin said...

Leigh, I noticed the 'buts' as well and wondered. However, so far the story is excellent.

Rick, I should really try to come up with something more inventive for a post to showcase my writing. Perhaps like your dragon writing series.

Leah J. Utas said...

Intriguing sentences you've got there. I want more.

Clare2e said...

I love mosaics, but especially when I believe their beauty has symbolic importance to what. happens. next.

Barbara Martin said...

Leah, perhaps next week there will be more of this sequence.

Clare, you must be intuitive.

Charles Gramlich said...

I really like the "cloaked woman" sentence. Very lovely and mysterious.

Anonymous said...

Enjoy reading your excerpts Barbara - sounds intruiging.I'd like to read more.Perhaps I'll wear a cloak to Willow's ball, am in a quandry as to what to wear and it's fast approaching!

Barbara Martin said...

Charles, thanks.

Pam, for a reader to be intrigued with two sentences is a great compliment.

As for Willow's ball I'm wearing the same gown as last year to take a spin around the floor with Prince Charming. Funny how he never seems to grow old.

Linda McLaughlin said...

Leigh has a point about the two "buts". I'm thinking the first one should have been an "and". The two phrases aren't exclusive. Otherwise, I like the excerpt a lot.

Love your cloaked woman, very mysterious, as someone said. But um, should dias be dais? That's an easy one to misspell. I love the star-shaped mosaic on the floor.


Barbara Martin said...

Linda, my excerpt is a draft after all and will need editing once the whole of the piece is done.