Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Two Sentence Tuesday: 23 June 2009

My reading has continued with "A Toss of the Lemon" by Padma Viswanathan, for a future book review. The astrologer, Hanumarathan, has recently married and is opening up an unused house he inherited from his parents. Three recently read sentences are:

"Hanumarathnam opens the doors from the main hall to the pantry, from the pantry to the kitchen, from the kitchen to the back courtyard, where an extended family of monkeys screeches and leaps at his appearance. Hanumarathnam screeches and leaps back into the house. The monkeys have been eating from the fruit trees in the garden: the courtyard stinks of rotting fruit, including half­eaten mangoes and overripe bananas evidently used as missiles in monkey food fights."

From my current WIP, a dark fantasy, Keeper 2, two recently written draft sentences are:

“He felt compelled to ease her fears, if only for a moment, and reached to the image in the water where he barely touched the woman’s cheek. Salathiel drew his fingertips carefully on top of the water to avoid making ripples, yet caught a strand of her long red-golden hair, lifting it momentarily from the water.”


For other participants please visit Women of Mystery.

20 comments:

Clare2e said...

I know it's shallow, but I love monkey hijinks!

Your sentences, on the other hand, have much more gravity. Nice.

Lois Karlin said...

Oh, I love that passage you wrote. Lifting her hair from her image in the water. Wow.

Leah J. Utas said...

Your sentences are evocative, Barbara, and make me wonder what has happened and will happen.

David Cranmer said...
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Barbara Martin said...

Clare, I thought the tidbit about the monkeys was fun.

Lois, thanks, another aspect of string theory revealed.

Charles Gramlich said...

I like the water motif running through yours.

Teresa said...

Barbara, I loved your two sentences, very eerie and suspenseful. The monkey food fight sounded fun.

Reb said...

Ooh, catching a strand of her hair from the reflection, sounds wonderful.

Scott Parker said...

Oh my. Your sentences are elegant and ethereal. So lovely. And the character name "Salathiel" is sublime. Bravo!

Cloudia said...

Monkeys always amuse ;-)
Aloha
Comfort Spiral

Phoenix C. said...

The monkey food-fight sounds fun!

Your sentences are very compelling. I've noticed that you mention string theory in your comment to Lois - something I hear about but don't know much about - interesting!

Barbara Martin said...

Leah, this is what seems to happen when I'm working on plot.

Charles, thanks. It would be amazing if one could reach as if through a portal to another place.

Teresa, eerie, yes; with the woman noticing her hair is lifting on its own accord.

Barbara Martin said...

Reb, now the portals will be easier for you.

Scott, flattery will get you everything, and thank you. The name I borrowed from a friend's ancestor who came from Cornwall, England in the 1800s.

Cloudia, when I was a wee child my family would go to Borden's Park in Edmonton to the zoo where there was a huge cage of monkeys. I never tired of watching their antics, or feeding them watermelon rinds. (We were allowed to by the keepers.)

Barbara Martin said...

Phoenix, I thought it was.

String theory is like many invisible energy threads that vibrate in the space around us: each patterned after a thought, intent, location, incident, thing (and other variables). Sometimes these strings are in a grid, can move and touch other strings which opens a portal to another place. Or it can be like telepathy where a string opens to allow the message through. String theory is also like the whey lines found on the planet: electromagnetic lines that crisscross in eight foot squares. There are people who are able to 'dowse' or 'scry' information from these whey lines, i.e. finding water, objects or answers to questions. It's all there, just waiting to be tapped into.

Teresa said...

Thank you for the concise and thorough description of string theory. I always thought there was something called "ley" lines. Are they the same thing as whey lines?

Barbara Martin said...

Teresa, I meant 'ley'.

I have been immersing myself in history articles for extra money, so forgive me for spelling errors.

Teresa said...

Are you writing on the art of making cheese?? That sounds like a fun way to make money.

A Cuban In London said...

From the passage you quoted, what jumped at me at first is how the author has lengthened the sentence even before introducing the word 'strech'. The door opens onto another room with another door that opens onto another room... and so on. Marvellous.

From your own writing, that final phrase is so evocative and vivid. 'yet caught a strand of her long red-golden hair, lifting it momentarily from the water'. The effortless motion in that fantasy renders it even more real. I hope you understand what I mean.

Many thanks.

Greetings from London.

Barbara Martin said...

Teresa, I take it that's a hint. I know nothing about making cheese except it's a mould. Fun, providing there's other money coming in. Otherwise, not so much fun.

Barbara Martin said...

Cuban, Ms Viswanathan has an elegant writing style throughout her book. Each passage transcends the reader into the story as it unfolds.

Thank you for your insight into my lines.